October
by sn0white09
Summary: Song fic based on Evanescence's 'October'. Chlionel. Slightly AU.


Pairing: Chlionel

Slightly AU

What if Chloe kept on searching? What if what she found was far stranger than what she expected to find?

Song: 'October' by Evanesence

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

_I can't run anymore_

Chloe sat on the edge of the bed in room 19 of some cheap motel. The long drive earlier that day has made her tired but she doesn't want to sleep. With sleep come dreams and these days the only thing haunting hers was a man. A man named Lionel Luthor.

_I fall before you_

_Here I am_

_I have nothing left_

Tears streamed down her face. Her sobs turned into a crying fit that could have matched the rainstorm outside. After running for so long, after leaving behind everything she loved, or thought she loved, Chloe Sullivan felt no shame in crying like a little girl who has just skinned her knee. Except it wasn't her knee that was bruised and bleeding. This time it was her heart. For the past few months Chloe blamed the pain solely on Lionel, but deep down she knew better. These excruciating consequences were the result of decisions _she_ made, not anyone else.

_Though I've tried to forget_

_You're all that I am_

_Take me home_

_I'm through fighting it_

_Broken_

_Lifeless_

_I give up_

This was stupid and Chloe knew it. All she had to do was pick up a phone and call him. She would tell him that she loved him and to please come and take her home. So what if Lionel Luthor was significantly older? So what if he was considered the devil incarnate by anyone who knew him? So what if he didn't reciprocate her feelings? Hadn't she lived with Clark's constant rejection for years? Sighing, Chloe once again acknowledged that this was a completely different situation; the pain was on a larger scale. Clark was just a boy, and despite the mystery that surrounded his life he wasn't all that interesting. Lionel was different. Here was a man who challenged her, made her feel needed, and, more importantly, made her feel powerful. How could she possibly live without that? She had an idea of what Lionel wanted from her, and Chloe was sure it wasn't just her investigative skills. But wasn't it the way of the Luthors to use people and then dispose of them when they could no longer exploit them?

_You're my only strength_

_Without you_

_I can't go on_

_Anymore_

_Ever again_

There was only one thing she was sure of: Lionel gave her strength. The vulnerable teenage girl that Chloe once was no longer existed. The independent, confident woman who replaced her was born out of Lionel's influence, and could only thrive in his presence. How could she possibly survive on her own like this? This internal debate occurred quite often and now Chloe could sense that a decision had been made.

_My only hope_

_(All the times I've tried)_

_My only peace_

_(To walk away from you)_

Chloe was surprised he hadn't found her yet. How many times have they played this silly game? She tried to escape from him twice before, and each time he discovered her whereabouts and tried to get her to rejoin him. Each time it was harder to refuse. After months on the road he still made no contact with her. Maybe he knew she would come on her own. It was entirely possible. He wasn't exactly blind to the way she reacted to him, to his presence. Nevertheless, Chloe was worried, and if there was one thing Lionel Luthor taught her it was that if you had to worry, things were probably going wrong.

_My only joy_

_My only strength_

_(I fall into your abounding grace)_

_My only power_

_My only life_

_(And love is where I am)_

_My only love_

Chloe Sullivan, a truth seeker if there ever was one, sat and listened to the night. She listened attentively as if expecting some sort of advice from Mother Nature. She immediately scoffed at the idea. After listening to nearly all of Smallville tell her things she already knew, Chloe thought that advice was the last thing she needed. What she needed was comfort, security, and some fucking peace. There was only one place where she could find all that…

_I can't run anymore_

_I give myself to you_

_I'm sorry_

_I'm sorry_

_In all my bitterness_

_I ignored_

_All that's real and true_

_All I need is you_

She once gave her heart away only to find it returned and broken. _Here we go again_, thought Chloe, knowing that the stakes were higher, _much_ higher, this time around. Maybe that was why she wasn't too reluctant about giving in. Life with Lionel Luthor consisted mostly of risks if nothing else and it was beautiful. He was exactly what she was waiting for and there was no need to extend that wait, was there? It would only cause further pain and suffering for the both of them. Or would it? For Chloe, there was no one else she would rather be with, but she knew that to Lionel she was as replaceable as a piece of furniture. Once again doubt began to set in.

_When night falls on me_

_I'll not close my eyes_

_I'm too alive_

_You're too strong_

_I can't lie anymore_

_I fall down before you_

_I'm sorry_

_I'm sorry_

An hour later Chloe lay in the dark, unable to sleep despite her deep exhaustion. Insomnia was common to her by then, it had been ever since she realized she made a deal with the devil, and it worsened when she realized that she had fallen in love with him. It wasn't the money or the fame that made her fall in love; she didn't care about those things. It was the way he made her feel like the only person that matters. Chloe knew full well that he has made many other women feel that way before she came into his life. Those women were probably more beautiful than she was, had more than she did. What made her stand out, Chloe thought, was that she stood by him. Lionel's two sons had turned away from him; they betrayed him, showed him no loyalty. Then Chloe came along and respected, if feared, his methods. It meant something to him that she would understand the things he did and would want to learn from them. She only hoped that it was enough, at least for now.

_Constantly ignoring _

_The pain consuming me_

_But this time its cut too deep_

_I'll never stray again_

There was a time when Chloe mistrusted Lionel and constantly questioned his motives. It was when she had just started to work him, researching Clark. It made her feel guilty; doing something she had promised her best friend she would never do again. She thought that the phrase _two wrongs make a right_ made total sense. He had betrayed her, so Chloe would do the exact same thing to him. Gradually her thought process began to change and every time she caught herself thinking about protecting Clark she felt a new sense of guilt, this time toward Lionel. He had done so much for her and she was contemplating working against him. _How could you? _Chloe mentally berated herself.

I fall into your abounding grace 

_And love is where I am_

Chloe woke up to a bright morning, the sun was on her face and birds were chirping. Despite her dismal surroundings and the fact that she wasn't much of a morning person, she felt great. _Today will be the start of something more than a new day_, she decided. There would be no more _if_s or _but_s. She got up, placed her few belongings in her bag, combed her hair, took one last look around, and left. A cup of coffee was the only thing she needed before going home for the last time, and once she got there she would never leave again. Chloe Sullivan would do whatever it takes to build a life with Lionel Luthor and she couldn't wait.

Walking out of the coffee shop across the street, Chloe stopped to look at the newsstand and see what made the headlines for that morning. One phrase that took nearly half the front page caught her eye and she dropped her coffee to the ground. A second to read it, a full five minutes to register that it meant _the end_:

**LIONEL LUTHOR SHOT DEAD**


End file.
